Laying down

Finally I realize that everyone's in love with Rebecca. 

I'm tired. It makes sense because it's 2am but still, you know what I mean.

My heart has been tested this week, my patience has had it and my brain is so confused. 

I had so many people want to come to my rescue and I only wanted my precious few around. I just want to see my friends and swim and laugh even though it hurts. I want a smooth flight with a Bloody Mary and save the vodka for Kevin and I. 

So cmon baby lets get back to where you started out. 

It's a dream to see Ry. Be normal and talk and tell her all my secrets. Remember back to a time when we didn't know any better and we imagined ourselves as adults doing crazy, different things and being free but for the life of us the lives we live now probably would have surprised, delighted and disappointed ourselves. Maybe this is what you get to choose? Those wooden toys with the rotate able clothes and heads wearing different hats. We look the same, we are just different in a unique and individual way. I just wish I knew my sister now. She says I don't know her anymore and that's why it's hard for her with me. I didn't know that could even happen. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me. You can disappear here, is what I would say. And that just made her stop appearing at all to me.