Henry, Pearl and Charlotte

Today is the first Monday of the month, I celebrate this with my residents by taking them to the Regal Cinema to see a movie. I wanted to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel but it was playing one hour too early; we settled for What To Expect When You Are Expecting. Being a woman who just ended a relationship where I thought it was for forever and now scared to death I will be too old and haggard to have children by the time I finally do meet someone, this movie depressed the shit right out of me. Sure, it had some bad writing and corny cliche's but boy was I bummed out when the credits rolled. The tears I shed were brought on by "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's. I listened to that song the whole plane ride home from Europe last fall and thought about B and how he was my home. 

I just don't feel like feeling like shit because I want a goddamn husband and a fucking baby and I can't understand why this isn't in the cards for me right now. 

Speaking of cards, I dug out the Gypsy Witch fortune telling cards that B bought for me at Toy Joy in Austin, Tx. Most of the stuff that he gave me or belonged to him is in a box waiting until I clean and pack everything of mine; just so I can make sure he gets every trace of himself and his memories back since, you know, we have been living a big fat lie. ANYWAYS. back to the gypsy witch. 
                          

Basically, you take out the #18 and #19 cards and the extra jokers, leaving one joker in the pack. You shuffle the cards while making a secret wish. You then flip a card over face up counting "1,2,3..." until you reach the joker. If you reach him on an even number then your wish will likely come true, if you reach him on an odd number then your wish is doubtful. You then take the joker out and depending on who the reading is for (male or female) you place the #18 or #19 in the middle of your reading space and re shuffle the cards. Starting from directly to the left of your card, you place the first card face up (mine is the heart) and then place a card above that (the clover) and then so on until your inner circle is formed (3 above, 3 below and 3 on each side). You then do your outer circle the same way, 3 above, 3 below and 3 on each side). You start your reading from wherever you want but I always start mine directly to the left of myself (the lady card so the heart would be the first card I read and then I would move up to the clover etc.)This is a perfectly good way to waste time and find out if a close friend will die soon (that is what my reading said last night).