What is this?

It's almost harder now, getting my piece and peace out and you being ok with it...I mean, I didn't even want to READ your response I was so terrified. I deleted my app just so I could pretend it wasn't even there, so far flung and off in outer space and I was just above it all. I did read it though after so much over analyzing I had it down to a molecular level...but I was honestly surprised; happily surprised. I couldn't let you sleep another night without knowing; whether you think about me or not I couldn't let that happen. Bobbi pins prick me awake and I rip them out and fall back in. It's not difficult, being older gives me courage I never knew I had but I definitely get nervous around you. Regardless, I'm having growing pains in my legs right now, the kind one gets when they are a kid. I almost think i should take a hot bath but the gin would make me pass out probably.