I'm in control

I'm not crying. I'm in control. Unfortunate days lead to sleepless nights but I know what right is on my side and I hold to it, what else could I do? Carry around my control in a purse, a pocket and a locket. Keep track, make lists decide for later and revisit those decisions. Responsible for me and BK and that's it. People don't change like that; their faces may be pretty but their oil painting underneath the dirty sheet is hideous and sour from their lack of control, responsibility and truth. Toxic doesn't avenge anything, it's toxic by nature and hurts everything and never gives nurture to nature. I must stay in control I must keep my focus laser and pick up every stitch. An extra stretch, a little bit less indulgence, a little more discipline. I'm compulsively responsible. A walking calendar of "to-do's," "doings," and "dones." I won't leave without my satisfaction and I'll never be satisfied with mediocre behavior that disregards: other people, stone-set situations and reality. Fight it all you want but you are a person in the world. Death is your only way out but even that leaves too much undone.