Now

Come over right now. Knock gently so you don't wake my cousins and I'll answer swiftly. It's 3 am and I can't sleep because I'm so mad at you right now. You grab my waist and we kiss, crushing and every other meaning of that word. There is a pressure to your presence and I know that if my breasts aren't kissed and caressed I'll just explode and all this will be for nothing. Take me away, tease me till I'm in tears but please don't forget those touches, those looks of pure need. Touch me all over, write hieroglyphics on my arm and tell me your what your hurt heart has to say. 

It never happened.

It was stunted and had its wings clipped before a chance was even possible. I feel defeated and wrong. You couldn't possibly be mad at me, could you? Did you think I didn't want to come? I couldn't! I know your plight, I know your pain and I see now that this was a small test for you. You needed me and I teased and then fucked off from you. I think I may have embarrassed our circle of trust. "Knew it" wasn't right and I was wrong and I wish I could take it back in the form of sucking the words from the place in your heart where they fell, burned and soured our fun. You made me feel dejected and I guess I had it coming. 

But you have to know that I fantasized about what could have been. Barely opening my eyes while acting out simple lust. Straddling you on your love seat, holding your chest back with my palms while you press yourself into me. Just going for it. I should have went for it. I'm sorry.